Table of contents for How to Quiet Your Inner Critic
- Is Your Inner Critic Stopping You From Taking Action On Your Dream?
- How to Quiet Your Inner Critic, Tip #1: The Disarm
- How to Quiet Your Inner Critic, Tip #2: The Test
- How to Quiet Your Inner Critic, Tip #3: The Reframe
- How to Quiet Your Inner Critic Tip #4: The Big Question
If you’ve got an inner critic — oh wait, EVERYONE has one — I know it’s stopped you more than once from taking your next bold step on creating your dream.
Watch this video to find out how and why your Inner Critic stops you from living your purpose — and what that’s costing you (and everyone else).
Join me for my free call on June 8th. Register here: www.QuietYourInnerCritic.com
Now it’s your turn:
How has this shown up in your life?
How have you let your inner critic stop you from living your purpose or creating what you are here to create, excited about, or dreaming about creating?
Leave your comments on the blog here, below, okay? I love to hear from you.
{ 22 comments… read them below or add one }
Thank you. I needed this today as I am trying to find my working idenity and have come upon a possibility that fits with my educational as well as career background. Need this time of exploring possibilities without my inner critic.
Thank you Jenna, your video is a great reminder for me that I have spent my life limiting myself to such a degree that I don’t I have a clue as to what I would love to do with the rest of it. I look at it this way: I can continue believing the junk in my head or I can choose to stop this nonsense and create my dream on earth. I live too much in my head and not enough in my heart, I know this, but how to get there, that’s what I don’t know or feel. Again, thanks so much for this nudge.
“Fear of Success” and the Inner Critic certainly keep us from becoming what we are meant to be or to offer to humanity…
Subsconsciously I have had a fear of success, the inner critic has always said, “no, you can’t do that” or “why do you think you can accomplish this”…and more!
Namast’e,
Kennette(/)
Sometimes I have that voice of fear talking to me daily to the point when I’m almost paralyzed. I’mnot sure WHAT to do.
My inner critic has a big mouth. That would be ok if it would talk since and help me to be possitive and happy, but it doesn’t and I let it control me. I allow negative people to influence my life. I’m the type of person who needs others support and acceptance for me to know that I’m doing the right thing. If they’re not there supporting what I need supported, then I back down and continue to do what I typically do, which is not successful (failure). I’m extremely unhappy with my personal and career status and it shows. How do you break that way of thinking and be strong enough to pursue what makes you happy and you know you were meant to do?
You are right in that I many times take the voice of my inner critic as truth. When I try something new (or am about to), which seems like every other day now, my inner critic speaks by telling me what I *should* do, be, offer, present, say, etc. No wonder I end up feeling twisted up like a pretzel. I get caught up in the cycle of “I can’t… but I have to… but I can’t…blah blah blah” Talking to a trusted friend or my trusted coach helps me get perspective.
I think the MOST valuable thing to keep in mind is that just because my inner critic might speak loudly, convincingly and often – doesn’t mean it’s correct!
Jenna,
You look gorgeous in red! In fact, you look more and more like Arwen. Love the long hair. It’s the mystical side of you for sure …
I gave my inner criticess the boot! Such a sissy girl. She got in the way of me singing the songs I really wanted to sing. I bought her a one-way ticket to the land of ex-criticesses!
Great video. You go girl!
Giulietta, Inspirational Rebel
In his book Toxic Criticism, Eric Maisel, PhD talks about how “criticism and self-criticism interfere with our ability to find our life purpose and live as strongly, passionately, and effectively as we would like to live.”
He notes if someone “has become even just a mild self-critic, she will continue to criticize herself in the absence of any new criticism from the world and she will take the information she receives from the world as new opportunities to criticize herself.”
Of course, this is equally true for us who happen to be male.
From my post Dealing with self-criticism
http://talentdevelop.com/412/dealing-with-self-criticism/
Why is it that we never take the compliments we receive to heart…just the criticisms…then we let them fester? I’ve just recently written my first novel and have received some enthusiam from an agent, yet I’m still hesitant to get it ‘out there’ and pursue the project because of my inner critic. I need to find a way to shut her up!
Jenna – in seeking to regain my age-12 enthusiasm, I’ve gone from the safety of engineering, ad copywriting & clinical psychology to the vulnerability of expressing myself in abstract art and poetry – but since I don’t need to support myself with these, I’ve not aggressively marketed my art. Though I’ve evolved a great art website, I still need a kick in the butt to draw buyers. Any suggestions?
SURPRISE INNER CRITIC! I’m not afraid and am harnessing the Inner Critic HAH! Meditation and Positive Self Talk today have made a positive dramatic impact, a little Yoga helped too!
Thank You Jenna
I’m having some time to develop my ideas but resistance sure does kick in some times. I identify with Jay. Leaving the safe field of geology and much preferring natural medicine and intuitive art. I some times wonder if it’s not the critic so much but that it’s so much fun pontificating about what might be that I fear bringing those dreams into reality might not be quite so fun. You can have a new great idea, every week but it takes a lot longer and a lot more effort, and attention to bring them into action… Plus on the inside it’s safe and protected. I fear more the criticism of others than I do myself! Or perhaps that’s the inner critic in action?!! Enjoyed your presentation! And good on YOU for getting out there!
Hi Jenna,
The audio wasn’t working for me very well at all…but I listened to your talk and truly understand what you are saying. I’ve been dealing with my inner critic the past couple weeks as I move forward on my business ideas and making them a reality… one thing I’ve been doing is saying ,’I approve of myself.’ I keep the thought in my mind and continually repeat this everyday… I’ve found my anxiety at work, and in general has diminished. I’m happier, more grounded and in turn more productive. Saying this keeps the negative thoughts away and plants a new positive truth in there place. Thank you so much for sharing!
I have an inner critic (like we all do), which I always listen to. However, I learned over twenty years ago to listen intently and then say to myself “Thanks for sharing, now f*** off and die.” After learning that important lesson I then went on to be myself and launched myself forward in my beloved chosen career of nursing.
Hi Jenna,
Yes the inner critic rules my life the do’s and dont’s taunt me and cause me problematic anxiety issues, and depression probably my inner critic has caused this I guess
I try my best to live in the moment sometimes okay sometimes not
Experience has shown me that our inner critics are often shaped and given teeth by our parents and loved ones while we grow up. Often they are repeating patterns laid down by *their* critical parents. And their voices echo in the “can’t”, “don’t”, and “will nevers” cycling through hour heads. Many creative, imaginative adults thrive and prosper because their parents are always supportive, encouraging them to pursue whatever captures their curiosity. It took watching a very good friend and her husband nurture their children to bring this insight to light.
We blame ourselves for our negativity, and then freeze up. Identifying how much of the nay-sayer in our heads is Us, and what is the ghost-recordings of negative criticism we received from others while growing, allows us to take some of the teeth out of our inner critics. Dissecting that negativity and recognizing the conditioning that created our psychic troll-under-the-bridge, that ugly, fearsome beast that growls that we Can Not Pass, surely helps. But we also must learn to embrace an open-hearted enthusiasm for any creative pursuit we undertake, or see undertaken by our friends and loved ones. Creating a web of mutual support and encouragement can go a long way to slaying the trolls in our heads.
Thank you so much for this video. It’s very thought provoking. I didn’t realize how the inner critic is so good at disguising itself. What you said about it ‘seeming’ like the voice of reason or practicality or realistic ness, that really struck a chord. Thank you!!!
Hi Jenna
I totally agree with Anna’s Blog about always limiting our ambitions in life due to our internal critical self. I totally agree with Douglas Eby – i am my worst critic – it sometimes feels as this inner critical part of my thinking is controlling me. furthermore, the more one discovers their true self, the more enlightening and sometimes the more confusing it can be. I am a true piscean – my inner critic sways forward with drive however the opposite is true, I can be stuck from the past mistakes, regrets and it is a constant battle.
Thank you Jenna! That was so inspiring. Bringing light to another facet of our lives, especially HSP. I have been working on my inner life a lot lately so that I can help others and myself make this world a better place. In the process, I am finding out a lot about myself and then about others too. We are all together in this. I am in the middle or the last of menopause (who knows and who cares, it’s the result of what happens in the end is what counts) and it is forcing me to come to terms with my relationship to the outside world and all the misconceptions (in our minds) that estrogen covered up all those years. Estrogen, in it’s powerful way is like a fantasy ride…..we make excuses, hide things under the rug so we can play the part of mommy, wifey, and good little daughter. While our own feelings take the back burner all those years. So then when estrogen is taken away, all these realities come to the surface and we WONDER, “What is happening here. How can I deal with this. It’s too much” And being HS, just makes matters more intense. Or is it actually making things better for us and we don’t realize it? It’s just like the butterfly and the coccoon. We have to struggle to get to the other side. It doesn’t seem fair but it’s nature, the way God intended it to be. He is looking out for our own good. Even when we “feel” as if He isn’t, He really is. All those old voices, are like you say, from the past and need to change so we can move forward. But this is some tough stuff to do. We are so hard wired from our past that almost everything we think is linked to that. Setting a goal and moving slowly towards that and understanding that we are going to have hiccups along the way, is pretty much the first step towards that goal. Menopause, for a HSW, is like starting all over…. We also see our life slipping by and we want to achieve our goal NOW before it’s too late; so the pressure is on. Then we give up too soon instead of pressing on a LITTLE at a time and KNOW that we WILL arrive!!!! WE WILL!!!! YES! It’s the way we preceive the journey that makes life worth living.
Thank you again for your wonderful insight at letting us know what else might be going on inside us which we might not have realized before because of our hard wiring, to help make our lives better and more fulfilling.
Some of the other posts here noted how parents can provide volume to our inner critic’s voice. I just got done reading the book Toxic Parents and found that much of my inner critic’s voice is based on things my family told me when I was a child. I too have found myself paralyzed by my inner critic yet unable to admit that I could not go on being what the critic expected of me because it was woven into the fiber of my personality as a child. It is hard to cast off the clothes you’ve always worn even if it’s a hair shirt because the pain is still a familiar pain whereas a new feeling might not be as manageable. Try to trace back where the inner critic started. I can bet you it’s not you. I still feel that there is a beautiful person waiting to come out of me, once she knows she is in a safe place and will be received and loved for who she is. Prayers to all on these tough but fruitful journeys.
I do not react well to taunting so I just say “Oh yea? Shut up” and continue on.
My inner critic is truly challenging and constantly interferes with the voice of truth. I agree with you that it prefers to be safe and “reasonable.” Thank you.
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