Your Biggest Questions, Page 2

This is continuation of the previous “Your Biggest Questions” pages.

What’s your biggest question about being highly sensitive?

Please share it here. I’ll be randomly selecting questions to answer on this blog.

…To post your answer, please type your comments into the “Leave a Reply” box at the very end of this page.

NEW: Please post your questions here, on the new page: Your Biggest Questions, Page 3.

Warmly,

Jenna

{ 35 comments }

Sheila Lortie December 30, 2007 at 11:18 pm

My question is how do I make a living when I can not even be around people?
My chosen profession is nursing, but every time I come into contact with emotionally or physically ill clients I take on their problems and feel them as if they are my own.
I started out as nurse on a psych unit. I have felt what different psychiatric clients feel like inside. I have unintentionally connected with a schizoaffective mind, his mind felt like a thick dark sludge with a mumbling voice in the left back hemisphere.
I have connected with a catatonic’s clients mind, and found this to be dark, peaceful and still. I was able to help her to come out of this catatonic state by visualizing a candle light in her mind to bring her to.
I have felt the high scattered energy of a manic. This felt like billions of ping-pong balls going off in every direction at high velocity. There are many more I could describe here but it would take many pages.
I have done Healing touch on a client with fibromyalgia, and I saw in my mind and felt my hands sink into her connective tissue.
I have felt a client float above his body as the room filled with angels and his loved ones from heaven came to take him through the door that I felt had opened in the room. The room filled with the unconditional love these spiritual beings always bring.
My problem is when I am around more then 2-3 clients with emotional or physical illness I become emotionally ill and can end up physically ill. When I stay isolated I have no need of any type of medication, but I end up on antidepressants when I attempt to work around people who are ill. I become ill in a room with more than 10 people even if all of them are well. It feels like each person has a baseball bat and is constantly hitting me with it.
I have learned when I go to any type of class I have to sit in the very back and pull my chair as far away from everyone as I can. I have also learned I like the energy of pine trees, they have a loving grounding energy and when I get overwhelmed they help so much. I know nursing is no longer an option for me. I’m tired of being ill all the time when I’m around people. I am well when I am isolated. So again I repeat my question how do I make a living when I can no longer be around people without becoming ill? How do I stop all the information from coming in? I have tried all kinds of shielding techniques, but every time I think I have found one that is stronger and will work then something new starts coming through that I did not have to deal with before. I have come to fear being around people.
Blessings Sheila

Sjones January 10, 2008 at 4:44 pm

I am not a traditional HSP in the sense that I am not a shy person. I tend to connect with people very well and love to talk. It appears that most people tend to focus on HSP who are shy and withdrawn, maybe not realizing that even extrovert HSP have the same issues. I think even some extroverts are in denial of their hyper sensitivity. Its like a double edge sword, no one expects a highly sensitive person to be extroverted. No one expects a loud mouth to be highly sensitive. We are definitly a rare bunch.

But true to my personality, I tend to take on the emotions of others. I find that at certain times this can persist for weeks, until I feel like Im going to crack. Most recently this happened with my boss, who is also a friend of mine. he has been under an extreme amount of stress and because he is not himself, I too feel stressed. Even thought I have nothing to do with his stress, I found myself feeling upset because he isnt behaving as he normally does. I felt like maybe Id done something wrong. It was like walking on eggshells. I dont know how to turn my “feelers” off! Most HSP know what it feels like to look into a persons eyes and know they are not themselves, and to suddenly feel down even if just moments ago you felt happy. there is no way to avoid this, but It must be a way to deal with it. How do i stop processing others emotions as if they are my own?

Ley January 12, 2008 at 8:17 am

Jenna-

This may have been asked before, and if so, I’m sorry, but I was wondering how you would suggest telling people about being sensitive, especially people close to you who “don’t believe in that stuff”? I tried telling my fiance recently, but…it didn’t go as smoothly as I’d hoped. The negative energy in our relationship now is overwhelming! Do you have any tips on explaining sensitive and empathic abilities to people without making them think you’re just a bit off?

Afia January 17, 2008 at 12:07 am

Hey,
i would like to know how can you be bold in times of turmoil and difficulties and not give in to depression as i find the major problem of being sensitive is inability to control the stressful situation and hence crumble under the pressure.
thanks

Heddy Johannesen January 20, 2008 at 5:04 pm

I want to know where it originates- being sensitive. i am the most intuitive in my family and we have no idea where it came from. That’s what I want to know.
It would answer a lot of questions for me. The thing that I can come up with is that we are all truly unique souls and no two are the same, so I guess that someone had something like this sensitivity planted in them at birth and we grew up being sensitive- the ones that are MORE sensitive than others. It could come from a spiritual plane not in ours and we are blessed by something. Everyone is intuitive but some more than others. But I don’t know how many times I have asked my self this question.

DWolf February 4, 2008 at 1:54 pm

How does one know if they are HSP or simply touchy?

Ann-Marie Goldstein February 5, 2008 at 7:25 pm

Questions about being sensitive.

I’ve always been different from a little little child. Three years old walking around telling people one day I would be a psychic- having visions at 7- they filled me with Joy and Purpose. I knew were I would be and where I was going and then at 39 I hit Saturn Return (or rather it hit me) and I left the sage (I mean to say safe but will leave it because maybe that means I am cleansing that time in my life spaCE) the safe life and became a professional tarot reader astrologer counselor and Reverend then a Licensed massage Therapist.

At my heart I am a healer. How I Heal is how The Universe goes because I am simply a Child Of The Universe. My mother whom was not, would call me that because even she knew that I was this Being. This being me on the wavelength that I am on.

Learning not to take on but let the others energy be their own energy has been challenging but it is I that refused to let go of the Unhealed Healer within Myself. To know that Faith and Heart- The Earth- Heart and Earth are words spelled with the last letter being first on each one- we are all one. There are levels- One must be able to be objective and it is not a picnic. It is what it is. Human Nature has the same fury as Mother Nature but The Self will protect you, the Angels will love and Guard you- you only have to come from the heart and do what you love because you love it and not because you feel it is expected of you.

Life is truly a Tremendous Gift.

I will say one thing- I don’t look people in the eye of too long. It scares them. I am the Mirror to their Soul and not everyone wants that and as a sensitive you have to know how to use your gifts. More importantly you have to accept your gifts before you can use them and be used by to help others.

MY question is The Wonder-Filled World that we can all live in where we Allow- where we flourish- And where we wallow sometimes too due to the swirlings of others- it is here. We are it whether you know it or not and the movement of souls is so much larger now that it is palpable-

The question is the answer. When I connect through my heart to my truth it’s answered and shown. How can I share this more with others because I am ready to take on the world!

Sonja February 7, 2008 at 6:05 am

As long as I can remember I am very Higly Sensitive person in all ways you can think.I do not like when people make jokes about my body,money, illnesses I can go on and on.I am one who you also can call a pleaser.I put myself in very high debt to keep people around me happy.I do not know how to stop it and not to be that sensitive.It’s almost like the people around me are controlling me,because they know I am sensitive person.They will make remarks ,which make me feel quilty most of the times.I have know where to turn I am in a dead street of my life.Everything is to much for me to handle no support what so every from family or work personal.Fot all the above who made it I am happen for you.Thanks

Deidree March 16, 2008 at 8:41 pm

My biggest question on being highly sensitive is how I can survive in the workforce. I used to work in a corporate office environment, I was always sick, drained,exhausted and overwhelmed. I don’t know what kind of work is best suited for me. I find being around crowds very difficult too, I hardly go to the big cities because it makes me fee so drained. Having good and maintaining relationships is tough for me because of my sensitivity.

Jessica March 18, 2008 at 10:42 am

My biggest question is how do I untagle all of the confusion and webs of thoughts and beliefs that I have created for 36 years in an effort to cover up my sensitivity? That is to say how do I get back to the pure, intuitive, wise, brilliant child I once was and learn to listen to her?

Dee March 19, 2008 at 5:42 am

I guess right now my general feeling is exhaustion. It’s been a long winter and I have been struggling with really wanting to curl up into this ball and hibernate until it’s all over. This past year has been chaotic in some good ways and in some not too good ways. I’ve have a baby girl in August, had back surgery in Febuary, have an unstable relationship with my baby’s father and am also raising one other girl at home, she is 11. My oldest daughter who is 20 moved out in January and I am currently not working until April because of my back so my financial situation is not good. I have also ended the relationship with my mother due to years of emotional instability on her part and paranoia that has caused her to accuse me of horrendous things not to mention control issues. As a sensitive soul, all I can say is Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelp lol. Summertime is always so much easier and I am starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I guess my biggest question would be how can I regain some positive energy despite of all the chaos? I do need to function for my children and a little something for myself would be nice too.

Deborah Png March 20, 2008 at 8:50 pm

I learned about HSP only a few weeks ago and it seems I am reading about my life story in all the HSP books I can find. I am a HSS and HSP. My biggest question right now is how to survive in what seems to me to be a fast paced world where speed, aggressiveness, assertiveness, absorbing vast amounts of new information as quickly as possible; and having emotional steele to deal with the unenlightened, unjust, dishonest and insensitive regularly is required. How does one compete in such a world to earn a living sufficient to support the kind of lifestyle an HSP needs for calm and peace.

Michelle G. March 29, 2008 at 4:07 pm

My biggest question: I have so many questions! It is hard to think of just one. How do I stop the overwhelming feelings that take over and cause me to act out in ways that threaten to tear apart my marriage!

Jared S. April 1, 2008 at 9:31 am

I want to know where to find others like me, so that I can talk to them and be reassured that I’m not alone and I’m not defective.

Sally April 7, 2008 at 8:33 pm

I understand that HSP has been discovered to be a genetic trait, and so too is alcoholism. I think I may have been hit with both ends of the stick and drinking is not a favourable device for me anymore because it heightens my sensitivities to the max. Everyone around me drinks and thinks it is fine for me to drink too. Even after I continously tell them I can\\\’t do this anymore due to the sensitive lows in my recovery the next day or two (and the sensitive outbursts while drunk). People think its a joke when you say you have a problem with alcohol, \\

Sally April 7, 2008 at 8:34 pm

continued from above

“Oh yah aren’t we all alcoholics?” but when you really do have a problem you realize your friends maybe shouldn’t be your close friends after all. They may be helping me pull myself down.

Hangover days my HSP is so out of control. I am so emo and just want to be left alone (for days sometimes) in my own confort zone no noise, no artificial light, no T.V.

My question is how do you distance yourself from people who obviously do not respect my nature of being sensitive without being nasty? I love my friends but I think at this point in time I need to stay away from them.

Marianne April 24, 2008 at 4:11 pm

How do I learn to focus on the person that I am listening to in a crowded room? The noise is so distracting that I cannot hear anything but noise.
Thank You

johya howell May 19, 2008 at 2:27 pm

greetings. my question is how to stay present with all of my children when they are all asking me questions at the same time. its like being in a crowded room when they all bombard me with questions and it disrupts my inner self with all the “noise”, to the point where it hurts, and i dont want to ignore them or hurt their feelings. so how do i deal with them and stay true to myself? thanks

Tammy May 22, 2008 at 3:25 pm

Hello!

How on earth do I stay grounded being a stay at home mom of a two and four year old who: fight, scream, whine, throw temper tantrums all most all day long. It is overwhelming, over stimulating, and I tend to lose it. I am a single mom and have no help to even get a breather!

fredrich (rick) June 16, 2008 at 10:59 pm

I guess I’ve known for yrs. that I’ve been a sensitive soul. Recently, after a really good friend who’s a female & I had a falling out, I’m dealing w/the grieving process as well as seeing a therapist. I just can’t believe how much emotions are surfacing!! Happy & sad. I need to know how to use these emotions/ physical feelings as well to my advantage. I’ve been relatively stable; not hospitalized for bi-polar disorder. 12 yrs. I take meds. I really am super interested in learning as much as I can about this gift & utilize it to the fullest.

Paddy June 17, 2008 at 7:55 am

I have found an exponential corelation between spiritual growth and increased sensitivity in all realms including all forms of intution, physical sensitivity (Including food choices, skin, knowing what is happening inside your own body, etc), and mystical experiences.

At this point in my life I wonder where it is all going? Will it fianally cap out, or is this just a life path of mine to increase in this way during the last third of my life?

It is not problematic once you learn to understand it; however, it does cause quite a bit of life choice shifting.

Samantha June 18, 2008 at 9:54 pm

my biggest is how do I find & keep my whole world in balance? how do I not feel so overwhelmed & stop feeling like I’m ‘dropping the ball’ so much? how do I take care of myself without losing track of my responsibilities?

Clare K June 24, 2008 at 4:03 am

My biggest question is: how do you reconcile your unique needs as a highly sensitive person, ie. your need for lots of rest, alone time, your need not to be overstimulated or overburdened by other people’s emotions, with your duty to your family? As a highly sensitive, clairsentient empath, I find my family (my husband and I have no children, so I’m talking about parents, grandparents, brothers, sisters, etc.) very overstimulating. I love them but most of the time I wish they would just go away! When I try to talk to them gently about my needs they invariably interpret it as rejection. I love them but I wouldn’t mind if they were on the other end of the planet and I never saw them, and I feel guilty about that.

Barbara June 24, 2008 at 5:31 pm

Hi,
My question is, how do I remain open to others, and the possibilities, and what they might be able to bring to my life and teach me, despite my tendency to “read” people I meet right away and determine instantaneously if they are someone I can trust or not. If they are HSP or down to earth I like and trust them; if they are what I label as “shallow” I reserve my core and don’t share my innermost self with them. I can’t decide if this is cutting off possibilities (as all my friends tell me) or honoring my instincts. I am single and attempting to become open to a new relationship after years of not “being on the market”. But this could apply to new friends and co-workers too.

Any insights are appreciated!

Lone Friis June 25, 2008 at 7:15 am

Dear Jenna,

I love your website and your work for us sensitive souls. I live in Denmark and are the chairman for the danish HSP-society. HSP is quiet new here in Denmark – only 3 years ago, and when i first found it I felt that I was coming home! I hope you can understand the meaning even though my english is not so good:-)
I learn new things about HSP and my own sensitivity every day, but the hardest for my is to get my family and surroundings to understand that I need my down-time, meditation, rest and my own-time. I am a highlysensitivesoul, but i live most of my life and day as 50% highlysensitive and 50% non-highlysensitive. Very confusing, I tell you that:-)
I’m a very big empathic highlysensitivesoul and I need to draw back from people – escpacially negative people(energy) or else I get ill and very overwhelmed and tired.
My question is: how can I be better to be around people without getting ill, overwhelmed or very tired?

Thank you so much for being here, Jenna.
Take care.

Sensitive love from
Angellight

Melissa July 9, 2008 at 7:44 pm

Wow, I don\\\’t know what to ask. I have known for as long as I can remember that I am like no one else. I never really put more thought into it than that. I am what I am. I love who I am. I amaze myself at the things I do sometimes. Most of my childhood and adolescence was spent in crippling shyness. I couldn\\\’t even go into a store by myself and would be terrified if a stranger tried to talk to me, but at 23 I took a flight from CA to Greece all by myself to meet my pen pal of 10 years for the first time. Amazing feat for me. I took a job as the only female working behind the parts counter at a boat dealership. I did that for 12 years and put up with alot of crap from men who didn\\\’t think I knew what I was doing. Now I work at an all male adult federal prison. I\\\’ve seen things and been involved in things most people see in horror movies, in their imaginations. This is the most surprising feat for me to have accomplished. So there\\\’s clearly a part of me that is courageous, yet I\\\’m still very frightened and can\\\’t believe I do the things I do. I think it may be because I trust my instincts, and believe in my love for God and know that no matter what happens here, I will be protected. And I refuse to spend my life hiding in the house by myself. I do need the time alone to recharge my batteries, which are nearly drained every day after work. I want to learn how to keep that energy going so I don\\\’t feel so drained. I want to learn how to develop this incredible, wonderful intuition I have. I\\\’ve learned that I can communicate with, what, I don\\\’t know, Spirit, Angels, relatives, friends, pets, who have passed, in my dreams. If I am genuine about the question I want help with, I can ask it before I fall asleep and the answer will come in a dream. I love it when that happens! In my life, I\\\’ve had some very meaningful dreams. I\\\’ve seen Jesus, I\\\’ve seen angels, I\\\’ve seen a shooting star turn into a giant dove I believed was the Spirit of God coming to reaffirm my faith during a very difficult time. I want to learn how to strengthen that. I have connected to the Divinity in all living things, I can feel my connection to everything around me and it fills me with the most overwhelming love and light. I want to learn how to strengthen that. Strangers pour their hearts out to me and I seem to attract people who need alot of emotional support and encouragement. Sometimes I say things to them that don\\\’t even seem like the words came from me. This happens when I\\\’m writing letters, too. Especially when I write. When I say that I understand how someone feels, or even how an animal feels, or Nature, I really do feel their feelings. When I get home from work I can\\\’t watch the news. I can no longer tolerate gory horror movies or movies where I know animals die. And if I allow it, I can burst into tears thinking about all the animals and trees and bushes and flowers that are burning in the wildfires here in California right now. I can always tell when the police are nearby waiting for speeders; all of a sudden I\\\’ll think, \\

Ann August 9, 2008 at 12:34 pm

Hi Jenna,

You recently wrote in a blog about being hsp and also wanting sensory stimulation. That is me! I hear of an adventure and think, “wow I want to try that,” and then immediately think, “well, maybe not” and start back peddling. Or I jump into an adventure and have quit before long as I can’t handle the stimulation.

I feel stuck between 2 parts of me, what I call “wild pony” energy, the part that wants to run free, and “girlchild” energy, the part who is cautious and sensitive. Help!

how do you handle it?

Ann in Tx

Margaret August 10, 2008 at 5:02 pm

Hi Jenna,

I find it very difficult to be out in Society because I find people to be terribly insensitive and mean spirited especially to children and elderly.

I’m so very disappointed in Society. reading your articles helps me to realize there are nice people in the world I just have to reach out to find them……thank you

Margaret

Michelle Hartsoe August 13, 2008 at 5:12 pm

Hello…I have been in counseling for a year now and I have found out that I am a HSP. I never knew there was a name for my abilities and others like me. My counselor told me to go online and see if I could meet others like me ,so I wouldn’t feel so isolated,so here I am…I am scared to death and I think I’m still in denial somewhat.I have trouble with relationships ,because I don’t feel people understand me.I’m 36yrs old never married or had kids ,because I keep myself out of social situations ,because I get overwhelmed by what I can pick up and the anxiety that I suffer with ,even on medication.I have keep it all a secret until I told my counselor .I was scared she would have me put away for being crazy,but I was surprized. So…can anyone help me with this gift or curse? Is there people or meeting places near Newton,N.C.(Hickory,Conover etc.)?

Donny August 25, 2008 at 12:06 pm

Hi,

I just signed up for the newsletter and tool kit because for the past five years my sensitivity has become so intense that I can not work. I lost several jobs and almost lost my family because of it. I can function daily, but it is strictly for survival now.

It’s reached a point where I hear every little sound. The temperature in Arizona gets up to 120 in the summer, and it’s killing me.

I tried alcohol, medication and even locking myself in a room at times just to avoid the stimuli. But I have to eventually face reality.

If I don’t have any money, how can I pay for the program?

Kate October 1, 2008 at 11:26 pm

My biggest question about being a sensitive…that’s a toughie. Mmmm. My biggest question right now (asking within). I am doing a lot of inner child work with myself right now. I keep experiencing triggers that are giving me emotional flashbacks related to my past. Hence I have a three way discernment issue goin on? What’s mine now, what’s mine past and what’s not mine and how do I distinguish between the three? I have recently left a workplace where the boss there was very negative and critical and that bombarded me with emotion that wasn’t mine as well as triggering unfinished emotional business I did have. I am familiar with my clairsentience/empathy and feel I learn the skill initially as a survival skill in childhood. Using it consciously feels like I extend by energy into a person/object/being and can gather energy that way…this is more apparent when I am doing healing but I do feel I need to learn how to harness this skill more consciously and learn to discern whats mine and whats not more competently. I’m in the UK.

Tillie October 27, 2008 at 8:37 pm

Hi, I am a HSP and am a little concerned about an upcoming situation. I was raped earlier this year and the trial is coming up shortly. Obviously i have to be a witness in court and even thinking about it makes me feel sick. When I am over stimulated by either stress or anxiety, apart from physical symptoms, my mind just goes blank. Completely blank. Can you suggest anything that I can do to help to keep myself unaffected by the other energies in the court room as obviously, I can’t afford for my mind to go blank. When I say blank – I don’t mean momentarily – it is like a severe numbness. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance.

lesa October 30, 2008 at 5:47 am

hmph. where to start – how to know what’s mine and what is others’ “stuff”.

Ingrid November 3, 2008 at 3:02 pm

I’m struggling to understand how my sensitivity is a positive thing and not a liability.

Joanna Hackley Davis, CLC November 12, 2008 at 5:58 am

Jenna, thank you so much for following your sensitivities and creating this beautiful space! I’ve just completed the CFL Certification and know in the deepest parts of my soul that I was created as a Highly Sensitive Person to make a beautiful contribution to the healing of the world’s collective soul. The questions helped me to see that my self care is of the utmost importance in making that contribution possible. It also raises the following question for me: How do I balance my self care with the rest of my responsibilities? Answers are flooding in as I am opening to the question, and I look forward to the answers you will provide! With love and light, Joanna Hackley Davis, CLC

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